Jesus Sandals
“first twat: if sandals were good enough for jesus they’re good enough for me” @queeftaco
Submitted By: @Dnobody
Conan O’Brien Squirrel Interview
“Today I interviewed a squirrel in my backyard and then threw to commercial. Somebody help me.” - @ConanOBrien
Submitted By: @Dnobody
Ass-Eating Tweets
“It’s a Scooby-like ghost town here this morning. Where has everyone gone? It was all the ass-eatin’ Tweets, wasn’t it? I’ll brush! *sigh*” @ThatKevinSmith
Submission: @dnobody
Computerized Breakup
“snowed into chicago. got the automated call at 6 AM. it was like getting broken up with by a computer.” @birbigs
Submission: @spikevicious
Dnobody Twetches BenGillin Twetches Natasha
“@natasha have you seen this? @bengillin drew “California Sun is Delicious” a #twetch inspired by your tweet http://ow.ly/HUKb” @bengillin
Submission: @dnobody
Tiger Woods Love Scandal
“love and scandal are the best sweetners of tea.” @BlogTease
Submission: @bretmcneedesign
Puppy Punchers
“no offense intended to the puppy punchers in the room” @beep
Submission: @bretmcneedesign
Period Syncing
“Cara just excitedly informed me that because we’re together all the time, “We’ll sync our periods- like we’re in a herd!” Fuck she’s weird.” @oliviamunn
Submission: @dnobody
I’ll Be Inside You
“Los Angeles! In 6 hours, I’ll be inside you. Wife! In 6 hours and 5 minutes, I’ll be inside you, too. Weed! 6hrs 7 minutes, you’ll be in me.” @thatkevinsmith
Submission: @dnobody
Hoodie Jackass
“I like shirts with hoods on them because I like the option of looking like a jackass.” @johncmayer
Submission: @dnobody
It’s All Wood
Submission: @gnarfdeath
Wraith In All-Black
“Beach Town III: White dresses, white shoes, blonde hair, small white fluffy dogs. I am a wraith in all-black.” @dooneystudio
Submission: @jenxer
